1978-2023 (and counting!)
June 17th.
Our 45th wedding anniversary.
Over the course of a long love story, what was once a single ‘our song’ becomes a whole playlist of songs. Marking myriad events in the ups, downs; ebbs, flows; crushing sorrows, magnificent joys; everyday living out of our love & life in this world hand-in-hand and in His Hands.
Here then, is one such song released in August, 1983 and added at that same time to our playlist during a particularly defining event that occurred early on in our life path together.
The year was 1983.
We were renting the bottom unit in a quadplex in the heart of the Silicon Valley – San Jose, CA. Hubby pursuing the dream of working for the hottest tech company of the time, Hewlett Packard.
Me? Living life in the Bay area as a new stay-at-home-college-educated Mom of a one-year-old and precariously on track with our fourth pregnancy.
A seemingly viable one after a rocky reproductive history of 2 previous miscarriages: one around 15 weeks (twins) and later, an early ectopic pregnancy that spontaneously resolved itself. Nestled between those, our much wanted beloved daughter, Hava was born!
Over the course of this latest pregnancy at 5 months gestation, the increasingly troublesome eye blind-spot symptoms I was experiencing could no longer be ignored. At the end of my eye exam, the optometrist explained that he ‘could not be responsible for me’ and felt he couldn’t tell me his suspicions on the cause of my blind spots. (Yes, he was an odd duck) Instead, he promptly picked up the phone and scheduled an appointment for me with a neurologist colleague ASAP.
Thus began the whirlwind of expedient & lengthy testing.
Of course, the neurologist explained further concerns at the next day’s appointment. It appears my symptoms suggested two possible diagnoses:
1. Pituitary Gland Brain Tumor
or
2. Early stage MS
Neither a good choice or something to hope for. But we prayed for the best along with a miraculous intervention.
Apparently, Pituitary Gland Brain Tumors grow exponentially & rapidly if the patient is pregnant – hence the haste with which these medical professionals carried out their testing and treatment plans.
I underwent numerous tests that lasted hours over a two day period prior to an impending operation date within 10-14 days. It was assumed I had the tumor and several tests substantiated those assumptions.
Between sessions, I talked with my OB-GYN to make sure that the scheduled CAT scans (MRIs weren’t readily available at that time) wouldn’t hurt the new life growing inside me.
They wouldn’t.
Further, the doctor spent time patiently answering my flood of ‘what if’ and ‘what about’ questions – mostly focused on how to protect my unborn child from harm during possible brain surgery.
And you know what? My OB-GYN made a point of letting me know that prenatal care is as much for the care of the mother (me) as for the baby! He was there for me, too. Every step of the way.
A few days before the looming ‘possible’ brain surgery was to be performed, the latest CAT scans baffled the medical staff. The original tumor dot cluster seemingly disappeared!
But we knew it was our ‘miraculous intervention!’
Even the neurologist said it was unexplainable (often their way of acknowledging a miracle of sorts).
So they cancelled the immediate mandate to operate post haste.
That left us with diagnosis #2 … which at the time was only confirmed via a spinal tap. I asked if we could postpone that until after the baby was born and/or indefinitely and was told, “Yes”.
Relief. We’d deal with it later, if at all.
Now we could celebrate and enjoy getting ready for our new arrival.
Aside from periodic monitoring with a world renown Neuro-ophthalmologist* at Stanford, I ultimately ended up with a clean slate.
Sadly, I miscarried again**, this time at 6 months gestation.
But the Lord has been my (our) stronghold,
Psalm 94:22 NASB
And my (our) God the rock of my (our) refuge.
*there’s an hilarious story that goes with our visit with this doctor, but isn’t quite in line with the focus of this post – perhaps another time it will be told!
**for completion’s sake, we went through 4 more pregnancies, resulting in 2 more live births (middle daughter and youngest son) but losing 2 more babies at 12 weeks gestation each. In total, 9 babies, with 3 live births. All wanted. All beloved.
A much belated Happy Anniversary to you Laura. I’m not sure how I missed this post, but I’m filled with awe at your resilience and faith and fortitude through these many trials, and the love that shines through it all. Blessings and hugs, my flower sister.
Dear flower-sister:
Such a touching & humbling response from one who understands life’s highs & lows.
Thank you.
ps-This got buried in spam…hence the delay in replying to your comment.
🙁
Hi, I read your story with a tear in my eye Laura. What a journey you had! How thankful you are well and you were able to have your family too. Blessings in the middle of all the hurt…which kind of sums up life. Happy 45th, that is quite an anniversary. Thank you for sharing.
How very nice of you to stop by and comment on my post, Jocelyn. I am touched. BTW: I still can’t get the hang of interacting from WP to Blogger/Blog Spot platforms. Just know, I read your posts (does that make me a lurker?!?) and enjoy/learn from what you present. Thank you for being you. Sounds trite, but it’s meant in the best possible way.
🙂
This is a beautiful article that celebrates your 45th wedding anniversary. Your article is a testament to the power of faith, hope and love and it inspires me to appreciate the gift of marriage and family. Happy anniversary.
Such lovely comments – thank you for stopping by Supraja, and for all your good wishes.
Congratulations on your wedding anniversary! The two of you faced so many challenges early on which must have confirmed that you chose well. It’s not the easy times that reveal the strength – or weakness – of relationships.
Thanks, Janis. I appreciate your thoughts on this.
BTW: I am impressed you caught up so quickly with ‘your’ blogs after your long trip! After my 5 day jaunt, I haven’t been near as quick to catch up as yourself – HA!
congratulations on 45 years
but your early years were definitely not what newly weds desired – and so much stress.
Thank you for your congrats, Catherine. It’s a reality that occurs more often than not for many desiring to start a family. Not with the same details certainly, but one where medical professionals, when allowed to do what they’ve been trained to do, play a big role in helping navigate those stresses as they occur in real time.
And, as you well know, we all have our medical issues where we need the help of those qualified to do so. Coupled with support from loved ones and the grace of God, we get through to the other side…
hugs
What a journey! Here’s to your 45th wedding anniversary, and counting… <3 <3
Here, here!
Yikes! I’m sorry to hear of all your pregnancy troubles, even this long after the fact. The good news is that some of us do stay together, through the ups and downs, despite getting married when we’re far too young to know what we’re getting into! Congratulations on your anniversary!
Thanks, Zippy! I feel for those of reproductive age having to navigate pregnancy’s ‘normal issues’ in these days. 🙁
Happy Anniversary to you both. And what a journey you must have been on-with laughter and tears.
Thank you, Andy. Your ‘Ode to the Unborn’ included within your first anthology of poetry touched me deeply way back when I first read it after publication…it speaks of those experiences in an (he)artistic manner worthy of note.
Congrats on your anniversary. You two have it going on now, did back then, too. Isn’t it amazing how things can work out as they should with a little heavenly help?
Yep, thanks, Ms Bean!
Thank you for sharing this! ????
Thank you for stopping by, reading through this longish one and for your show of support.
Laura, first congratulations on your 45th Wedding Anniversary! What a wonderful milestone – and I bet the years have flown by!
Laura, my heart goes out to you for the babies you lost, I truly cannot imagine the heartache. Yet your bright positive spirit shines through, your love and joy in your three children, the wondrous gift of their lives, them finding their way to you. Bless, what a miracle that you did not need surgery and that neither of these horrific conditions occured. Sending love & hugs to you, my friend! xx ❤️
Thank you for your warm wishes, Annika. Your tender spirit of understanding & compassion is felt across the miles!
peace,love&hugs to you, too!
Celebrating you and your family! Thank you for sharing your story.
Always a pleasure to see your comments, Chela. Thanks for joining in & celebrating Family.
Happy Anniversary to you and your husband, Laura! What a story of the incredibly painful ordeals you and your husband endured to become parents! I feel you would do it all over again in order to have your children. My admiration! <3
Absolutely! Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Cheryl.
Happy 45th wedding anniversary.
What a story you shared and I cannot imagine the stress you were experiencing facing such possible diagnoses, and then what a miracle. You went through so much to have your three children, you are so brave and strong. Much respect!
Tierney, your response is overwhelming – I am deeply touched.
Happy 45 years together, I hope you enjoy many more! Going through all the ups and downs of life together is a blessing; being strengthened by Him as you walk through life together is a joy indeed.
Spoken/comment from one who knows. Thank-you, Wendy.
🙂
So moving I read it twice. Wow, what an incredible story based of faith, hope, miracles but also a strong belief that you each have in one another. So wonderfully written, Laura.
I’m deeply touched by your comment…especially in light of what you and Gorgeous have been going through. Stay strong.
Oh Laura. Nine pregnancies… I cannot begin to imagine what it felt like to lose six of those beloved babies.
And the account of the miracle and what it must have felt like to be carrying a child and a tumour at the same time…
Too many words from me. Thank you for sharing these stories.
And now, CONGRATULATIONS on your XVL. (x for kisses, v for valour, l for love)
Thanks for the song. A perfect accompaniment to the reading of this post
You are a dear, Mariss. Funny how our 45th triggered these memories…I felt like it wanted to be told and was pleasantly surprised that I could recount it in a concise and understandable manner.
Clever you to add new meaning (secret code?!) to those Roman numerals! I like that! And, I’m always happy to introduce you/others to ‘new-to-you’ music.
😎
It was beautifully told ❤️
What a beautiful testimony, Laura! Your marriage, your love, really has endured all. Having the love of God guiding you through really makes a difference. The pain of my own parents suffering from miscarriage and the need for channeling the sorrow and hurt ultimately leading to divorce. They didn’t know how to cope…they didn’t know the love of Christ then. Someone needed to hear your story, someone needed to know that there is still hope and love…that 45 years of marriage can happen even, and maybe because of, the bad times experienced together. Celebrate the years…you earned every one of them!
By the way, I also choose to make verses personal…somehow they stick with me better. 🙂
Thank you for your support, Laura. I’m so sorry about your folks. Too often deep tragedies lead to pulling loved ones apart from each other, which I can completely understand. Even with the Lord, it’s hard at times to draw near to one another in times of duress or conflict. But just as often, once ‘through to the other side’ we emerge stronger, wiser and more compassionate towards others.
Congratulations you two! That is a long time! I am happy for you. It takes work but with the right people it is worth the effort and brings many blessings.
Thank you, Jane! Your good wishes are much appreciated.
Every life is precious, and you and your husband have had more than your share of challenges. It speaks to the strength of your marriage. Sticking together through all of life’s happy and sad times is much easier when you’re with the right person.
Well put, Pete. Especially as our children (yours most recently!) have chosen their ‘right person’ and begin their own lives.
Yes, all wanted and all beloved. Thank you for this beautiful story of life, birth, sadness, joy, and music. Happy anniversary!
Thank you for ‘receiving’ it and understanding.
?
Miraculous intervention! Yes!!! Wow, Laura!!! I’m so grateful that He came through! What an ordeal! ?But thankfully one with a much better outcome than anticipated (though I am sorry for the miscarriages; very sad ?). Happy anniversary. ?
(my first reply got lost, sorry)
Sometimes sharing life’s stories is hard, but needful. In doing so, responses such as yours reveal it uplifts and brings us together in a real down-to-earth way. Yes, He came through!
hugs to you, dear one